Have you ever loved and desired someone?
Odin’s beard, what am I asking, off Course you have loved and desired someone, the relevant genes were passed on to you.
However have you loved and desired not one but two, and desired both at the same time?
Wait don’t answer that, I know it’s a scandalous question.
I have! I have been loving with desire two,  for quite some time. If you think loving one is hard, loving two is tiresome, to say the least.  Let me put a disclaimer that my love is not virtual but real.
My esteemed reader, let me narrate my eventful, triangular love story and if you feel pity on my situation and you have some tips to manage my love life, feel free to share with me later, 1st please hear my plight O virtuous ladies and lords

   My oldest love is very sweet, charming, and gentle, whenever I am with her, I feel relaxed as if there is no worry in the world. While most of the time, my love shows me dreams, sometimes she also suffers me through nightmares, just to keep me on my toes. My love is also routine bound, just like me as a result we get along quite fine. We spent hours every day resting, dreaming, and soothing. She is usually very low maintenance unlike girls from engineering colleges. However, if my oldest love came to know that I was with the newest one, she would just not come to me, she would just shut me out for hours before the chemicals the second love has left in my body goes out.

My second love is exactly opposite of my 1st love, and it’s not a figure of speech, they are literally opposite like north magnetic pole and south geographical pole.
My second love is not soothing, gentle or sweet, she is toxic, bitter and abrasive.
When I am with her, I lose my ability to relax, my heart rate climbs up and the world feels like a war zone.  There is no dream and hope for me in her company, it’s just despair

    At this point of my story, I am sure you are wondering if I am a fool. If I have someone soothing and sweet, then why do I go after someone who is toxic and bitter. Let me assure you that I am not a fool, it’s the effect that my toxic beloved leaves on me that keeps me bound to her. Do you really think I have not tried to get rid of her. There were months when I would avoid her, it won’t be easy to start with, I would be restless, I won’t be able to concentrate but I do become normal and then there will be a day when I assume that I am over her and I can casually interact with her, I would think that I can be “just-friend” with my beloved, boy would I be ever more wrong. My beloved would entrap me again and I will fall back into her charm.
I am a rational person but even I am helpless against the material charms.

    Allow me now to introduce you to both my beloved,
my 1st beloved who is charming, sweet and soothing is Sleep. She is indeed my 1st love. When I 1st came into the world, there was no one but her, though I don’t remember the time we spent together at dawn.
My toxic beloved, who is bitter and addictive is coffee. I know she is bad for me; she doesn’t allow me to relax and she kills my appetite for nourishment, I still go after her.
My days are a constant struggle to keep a balance between my two beloved. I try to not fix a date with my toxic beloved in the evening but sometimes I just cannot help myself and give in to the temptation as a result my other love, sleep would stand me up, I would have to plead, beg and make promises (false promises) to bring her back.

    When I lie restless, kissed by my hot toxic beloved, I wonder how my life would have been without the toxic embrace, could I not have found someone more toxic and even fatal, as a result my life could have been worse. I also wonder if I am the only one who despite having someone who heals, goes to someone who hurts. Do we feel that simple and easy is boring and we would rather have someone who imparts a bad influence on us. I am submerged with all my thoughts and then it becomes too much for me and I cry out, “Oh coffee my beloved, would you please come to me!”, and I amble towards a  coffee shop.

    I don’t know if I should keep struggling to maintain balance, get rid of the toxic one or just give in to my temptation and enjoy life as I go. Even if I get rid of her for good, should I be worried that I might fall for something more toxic. I am asking questions because I truly don’t know the answers but I know that sharing our problem is the second step of resolution, for the problem of fatal attraction. The first step is acceptance.
Let’s confront our toxic interaction, let’s avoid our toxic interaction and if we feel powerless, let us at least make sure that the toxicity of one aspect of our life doesn’t drive away the good aspect.
Dear Reader, if you have some tips to share with me, get in touch with me via email, meanwhile, I will try not to drink coffee post evening.
Meanwhile you try and analyse your triangular love story:
Are you involved with morning jog and late night snackathon
or are you involved with your liver and party hard spirit
or are you involved with success and reels scrolling, if you are
recognise your toxic beloved in your triangular love story and if you want to share your plight, I am all ears.